Întotdeauna slujba de pomenire a morţilor este precedată de Sfânta şi Dumnezeiasca Liturghie care se săvârşeşte în sfânta biserică. Pentru slujba parastasului orice creştin aduce o colivă, colac sau prescură, vin, lumânări, tămâie şi cărbuni.
Coliva, făcută din grâu fiert, îndulcită cu miere sau cu zahăr, închipuie însuşi trupul celui/celor răposaţi, dar are şi o semnificaţie duhovnicească deosebită, fiind un simbol al învierii trupului, pentru că după cum bobul de grâu, ca să încolţească şi să aducă roadă, trebuie să fie îngropat mai întâi în pământ şi să putrezească, tot aşa trupul omenesc mai întâi se îngroapă şi putrezeşte, pentru ca să învieze întru nestricăciune. Dulciurile care intră în compoziţia colivei reprezintă dulceaţa vieţii celei veşnice pe care ne dorim şi pentru care ne rugăm să o dobândească cei adormiţi. Pe colivă se aşază Sfânta Cruce şi se ornează în chip frumos (de obicei cu bombonele colorate, care închipuie frumuseţea faptelor bune pe care răposatul/răposata le-a lasat ca mărturie în lumea aceasta).
Colacul sau prescurile sunt de obicei frumos împletite şi poartă pe ele simboluri liturgice (sfânta cruce). Pe acestea (colivă, colaci) se aşază o lumânare aprinsă. Lumânarea este semnul şi chipul trecerii noastre prin viaţă. Aşa cum arde şi se consumă lumânarea, aşa arde şi se consumă viaţa noastră. Lumânarea este şi un frumos simbol al omului bun: lumânarea, pentru a oferi lumină trebuie ca, încet-încet, să se consume. La fel şi creştinii (cărora Iisus le-a spus “Voi sunteţi lumina lumii!“), pentru a fi lumină pentru cei din jur, pentru a fi coerenţi şi a-şi trăi corect credinţa, trebuie să se jertfească, să ofere ceva din ei, să se consume în fiecare zi câte puţin.
Lumânarea se mai aseamănă nouă oamenilor şi prin fragilitatea sa: se rupe atât de uşor, se sfărâmă, şi totuşi oferă ceea ce nu poate oferi nici piatra, nici apa, nici pământul: flacără, pentru a fi lumină şi căldură lumii.
Vinul, care se toarnă cruciş pe colivă (trupul celui răposat), semnifică aromatele cu care a fost uns trupul Domnului.
De asemenea, se obişnuieşte să se ofere un prosop (de la gr. prósopon = persoană). El se oferă pentru a ne aduce aminte de persoana în numele căreia s-a dat pentru a o pomeni.
Am amintit că, pe lângă rugăciune, este necesară milostenia.
Prin milostenie se mângâie sufletele celor adormiţi. „Mila curăţă toate păcatele!” (Tobit 12,9). Cu siguranţă trebuie să miluim pe cel care are nevoie de milostenie: pe înfometat, pe cel gol, pe cel însetat. Când un semen de-al nostru este miluit, se alină şi se bucură. Şi dacă se roagă pentru cei răposaţi, rugăciunea lui are o mare putere (de aceea se şi spune când primim ceva de pomană: Dumnezeu să-l ierte! sau Bogdaproste!).
Cine dă de mâncare celui flămând, de băut celui însetat, de îmbrăcat celui gol, acoperiş celui străin, slujeşte Domnului, întrucât Domnul se identifică cu toţi cei aflaţi în categoriile menţionate mai sus. Cine merge la cel bolnav şi la cel din închisoare, la Domnul merge. Şi în Sfânta Scriptură stă scris: „Cel ce are milă de sărman împrumută Domnului şi El îi va răsplăti fapta lui cea bună” (Pilde 19,17
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